Openness

Yo – Know I’ve been gone for a minute… I needed to work some things out in my mind (as always). But it’s time to get back on track. Excuses don’t fix problems. There’s a debt to pay — I’m a bi-weekly blogger. Expect two updates this week to get us back on track.

This piece had a different tone back when I drafted it two weeks ago. My state of mind has shifted since then, but the overall message, openness, remains the same. From today onward, I’ve decided to be more forthcoming. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve been completely honest in every one of my blog posts thus far… As it turns out, being open happens to be a different matter. It’s easier to shy away from sharing what’s on our mind, but is that what’s best for us as humans? No, not in the alt-right “free speech” mentality. I’m talking about the social realm – Face-to-face, texting, Facebook, Instagram, etc.

Aren’t you tired of only seeing the best of everyone and everything? I mean, all of our friends can’t be doing that well… We wish them the best, but doesn’t it all seem fishy? Doesn’t this facade set the bar for our actual life far higher than the everyday man is capable of vaulting? And then once you see past the illusion, does it sour your perspective on these people? Do you question whether your own friends and family are genuine… if they’re even real? I do. At what point do we stop being people and start devolving into our own brand? I want to quit myself that question of myself and of those around me. As a society of people, we CANNOT allow that to continue being the case. No one wants to live like that. Today, let’s attempt to take the first step towards ending that cycle.

A wall can’t crumble without first receiving a crack — let this be the first stone.

As far as people go, I have very little patience.

They’re not my cup of tea. I’d much rather not interact, not engage. People do a lot of stupid stuff and, to be perfectly honest, most days I’m ashamed to be classified as one. But I’m no better — those are the ropes! Conflict stresses me out, and there’s nothing I try to avoid more than drama.

Up until a few days ago, my answer was to politely (in my mind) try to cut anyone and everyone out of my life. I was never mean about it, but I’d try to “break” conversations until the other party would inevitably stop engaging. I’m a gamer, and this was my game. How few sentences could I exchange with another until they inevitably ask about the weather? The easy strat was one word answers. For the most part, it worked. I considered it a victory if I managed to get through a week with fewer text messages than fingers on my hand. But once you make the exploit a core part of your strategy, it’s hard to adjust back to playing the game correctly.

There were those who continued to engage even after (in my mind) I tried to get away. Some would call that subset of individuals people who care. This is where things got weird. I started to notice something. Conversations were no longer conversations. Phone calls became one-sided monologues. In a sense, I felt like Link or any other other silent protagonist who gets spoken to and does virtually nothing in response. Nothing felt natural anymore, and I’d spend a large swath of the conversation wondering if the person on the other side of the call noticed what I noticed; if so, why do they bother? I disengaged the world, and as a result, the world disengaged me. And I was fine with this outcome.

But recent events changed my perspective on things.

Taking a “hands off” approach to society may seem ideal at the time, but it doesn’t solve the problem. You don’t want the burden of others; you don’t want to be a burden. But in the end, both parties end up worrying more due to no valid line of communication ever being established. This contradicts the exact goal that isolation seeks to achieve.

Another takeaway of mine is that by separating yourself away from the greater part of society, you allow it to evolve without your input. Maybe that doesn’t matter to you right now, but consider the people like you — the people of the next generation who share your tendencies. Do you want them to think they’re out there alone? If there’s one thing you should know about me, let it be this — I loathe the social contract we live by. In my mind, it’s what created this illusion we’re dealing with in the first place. If I can find people out there who share this view and provide them with support, then I’ve done good by me. You can’t do that from your house. Yes, you can do it on the Internet, but it’s just a bunch of like-minded, jaded a**holes who gave up on changing things a long time ago. Trust me, I know a guy.

So what does this all mean? Do I need to go to parties? Do I need to go out and meet new people? Do I need to be the person who initiates conversations?

Nah.

I think engaging those who engage me will suffice. You got to start somewhere.